A Day of Mixed Emotions

We have had a very sad week here in my corner of the world. A 3 year old boy was abducted-taken from his home while his parents and 7 siblings slept. For the last 3 days Search and Rescue teams, volunteers from the community, the RCMP and many others have been scouring the province for any signs of the young boy and his kidnapper. This morning I got up to go to work and was over joyed to see the news that he had been returned safe and sound. The suspect is still out there but at least this family will have some piece of mind and child to hug and kiss again. This case hit me hard, and I'm not even a parent yet.

I could not get this sweet little boy out of my mind, I can't imagine the type of person that would do something so terrible.
With the good news of the morning I drove into work, forgetting for only a moment what this day marks.
Today is the 10th anniversary and as a resident of western Canada some people would say that Sept. 11 doesn't mark much to me. They would be wrong. I am a paramedic and I am in love with a law enforcement officer. Many people just like myself and my CW were killed that day or lost someone that they loved. I can't fathom the fear and anger the people directly affected by this day have felt and still feel. What I can fathom is how much it would hurt to lose my mountie.
This year, like the previous 9 years on this day I remember how lucky I am and I think about all the lives lost that day but this year I thought of something I never have before. What about the dispatchers that day, the air traffic controllers, the 911 call takers. I wonder how their lives have changed. I wonder how many suffer from survivor's guilt, knowing they sent crews to their deaths, sitting their feeling utterly helpless as their city and home was changed forever. So today I'm remembering the people that gave their lives and the ones that weren't given a choice, but I'm also thinking about the people behind the scenes. I'm hoping you have found some sort of peace. I hope I'm not the only one thinking about you today and I'm sorry that it took this long for me to think of you, but I am today and I hope others are too.
Thank you to all the men and women that continue on their daily jobs today, because as we all know, the anniversary of 9/11 doesn't mean the phones stop ringing and the alarms stop toning. My LEO is working tonight and I will wait up for him to crawl into bed with me. I am lucky enough to hold my loved one tonight and I will never take that for granted. Please be safe out there xoxo.